


It's You

by perpetuallydreaming



Category: Supernatural
Genre: POV Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 12:36:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9072028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetuallydreaming/pseuds/perpetuallydreaming
Summary: Beta'd by: https://hardertobreatheat-night.tumblr.com/Italics is Dean remembering past memories in case that isn't clear.This was a favorite of mine to write!Enjoy and let me know what ya'll think!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by: https://hardertobreatheat-night.tumblr.com/  
> Italics is Dean remembering past memories in case that isn't clear.  
> This was a favorite of mine to write!  
> Enjoy and let me know what ya'll think!

Sam’s words echoed in my head as I sat behind the wheel of Baby. Head back, eyes closed, and listening to the rain pound ferociously on the roof. I thought the drive would clear my head like usual as the tires ate the miles of pavement beneath them. Not this time though. Not when I was thinking about Y/N. When I pushed her away after Bobby died, I thought I was doing the right thing, saving her from a life that I didn’t even want to be a part of. Once I was sent to Purgatory, I was only more convinced of my decision. In my eyes she was too pure to deal with the horrors and monsters I had seen and dealt with on a daily basis. She was a badass but she was also soft and a light in my too often dim world and I didn’t want a damn thing dimming her fucking shine.

  
Jamming the key forward in the ignition, I restarted Baby in frustration. Maybe if I just checked up on her, made sure she was safe, or as much as it would hurt, see her with someone else, maybe then my mind would shut up and stop racing with thoughts of her. I stomped my foot on the gas, the tires sliding with lack of friction from the rain for a second before finally gaining traction. I turned on the radio and as fate would have it her favorite song came on, for once I turned it up and listened to it blare through the speakers as I applied a bit more pressure to the pedal beneath my right foot. Letting my mind drown in thoughts of her and our past together as I drove.

  
_I thought about the first time I met her, a vampire hunt. One nearly nabbed her outside the bar she worked at after closing up. Seeing resolve in her eyes instead of fear was what got my attention. She was different. She pulled out a hidden pocket knife, stabbing him in the upper thigh, stunning him, before twisting the blade and pulling it out. I nodded my head behind me letting her know to get out of here and get safe, she ran towards Sam and I. I remember the smell of her sweet perfume mixed with the smell of alcohol from the drinks she had been making and serving that night as she dashed past me and to her car. Sam and I beheaded the bloodsucker. After a successful hunt we would usually head out the next morning and on to the next hunt, but I couldn’t get her out of my head. There was just something about her E/C eyes that haunted my mind and I headed out the bar, hoping  she would be working. Luck was on my side that afternoon because as soon as I opened the door I saw her standing behind the bar, completing last minute opening activities. She looked up at me and smiled before she even really looked, that smile barely faltering as she made eye contact with me and recognized me from the night before._

__  
“What can I do for my best and first customer of the day?”  


_“Beer and a good conversation with a beautiful woman like yourself would do just fine.”  
_

_She smirked as she replied while she fixed up my beer, “I’m not a biscuit, don’t butter me up like one.”  
_

_Her humor immediately reeled me in, and in that moment I knew I was screwed. Just as I had asked though, after I fully explained to her what happened last night, what Sam and I do for living, she didn’t end up running away screaming. We had a good conversation… great actually. But as all things eventually do, it came to an end as business started picking and we both knew it with one look. But right before I left she called my name and handed me a piece of paper.  
“In case you find yourself in need of good conversation,” she said with a wink before turning away and taking care of customers, leaving me no time to respond. I walked out dumbfounded that I got her number without asking, I know I’m smooth, but I ain’t that smooth. I ended up calling her the next morning, delaying our leave again, and asking her out for coffee. Luck was still on my side considering she said yes and had the day off, a rare occurrence for her. Little did we realize at the time the impromptu date we had that day since our day together wouldn’t end with coffee. _

_  
We walked around town. She pointed out things around the downtown area of_ _the small town, filling me in with personal stories of her own. The day eventually turned into night and neither of us hinted at wanting to leave. She offered a movie at her place, which lead to her in my arms on the couch. I didn’t make love to her that night and I didn’t when we both woke up that morning tangled together on her couch. That came later, a couple months later when I came back to visit her yet again, although this time after a rough hunt, but I didn’t leave without our first kiss._

__  
I still remember knocking on her door at three in the morning, I usually would have just grabbed a motel room or slept in Baby until morning but I knew she had just gotten off work since I texted her and she told me she’d wait up for me. She answered the door and pulled me inside, instantly wrapping her arms around me like I would disappear any second. Her hair still damp from the shower, the smell of her minty shampoo and conditioner and her floral body wash invading my nostrils. She was wearing a t-shirt I left behind on one of my previous visits with her and a pair of shorts. I still remember her soft voice, mumbling into my chest as she continued to hug me, ask me if I wanted to talk about it.  


_She always offered to listen if I needed her to, reminding me that it was okay but I always declined. I only ever wanted to see her smile. I just hooked my fingers under her chin and slowly and gently raised her face up to look at me. I looked her right in the eyes and held her gaze for a solid couple of seconds before I slowly looked down at her lips, committing everything I gazed upon to memory. The slope of her nose with her silver hoop on the right nostril, her soft pink lips that felt like kissing rose petals. I didn’t realize I leaned in closer until I could smell the scent of her spearmint mouthwash on her breath. I looked back up to her stunning E/C eyes. She leaned in closer and I met her the rest of the way. Our lips meeting in the middle.  
_

_At first it was slow, sweet, and filled with love but soon for whatever reason it became more passionate and urgent, her arms came up to rest on my shoulders, her hands meeting behind my neck gently pulling me closer to her. My hands on her waist pulled her body close to mine, one hand sliding down to her hip, resting there and holding her body close to mine. She took a small step backwards, pulling me with her never parting our lips. We made our way through the one-bedroom apartment like that towards her bedroom until her knees hit the back of her bed, pulling me down with her as she lost a bit of her balance._  
I shot my arms out so we wouldn’t bang our heads together and that was the first time our lips parted. Slightly panting, we stared into each other’s eyes. She reached her hand behind my neck and pulled my face towards hers to resume kissing. Kissing quickly lead to making out as she kissed the corner of my jaw down my neck running her hands down my chest to the hem of my shirt, tugging on it to let me know she wanted it off. I stood up and took it off. Leaning back down to her, my left forearm beside her head supporting my weight, I looked into her eyes and asked her if she was sure. She gazed back into my eyes, hers filled with love, and told me, “More than anything in my life.” I kissed her with as much passion and love than I could have fathomed, my right hand on her hip, squeezing it, there were bound to be finger prints there in the morning. Her left hand squeezed my bicep while her right hand rested behind my neck. My right hand trailed up from her hip and underneath my shirt she wore to rest on the soft skin of the side of her waist as I trailed kisses from her mouth down the left side of her neck, biting when I reached the curve of her neck and shoulder, I heard her gasp with pleasure. The first of many noises she would be making that night.  
The feel of her silky smooth legs against mine and the softness of her skin against my chest. Not just some primal need, lust or a way to blow off steam. That night was spent making love to each other, a tangle of limbs and sheets. That was the night after the rough hunt that I realized for the first time I had something to live for besides the protective older brother role that I thought would be the only role I fulfilled in my life. It was the first time since Lisa that I loved someone and made love to someone. It was the first time since Lisa that I realized I could have a life outside of hunting with someone so utterly amazing. And it was the next morning that I slowly started realizing that that never worked out with Lisa, and that she nearly died because of my selfish way. And I would be damned if that happened to y/n.

_  
So it was after that night that I started distancing myself, slowly but surely. I didn’t want to but I didn’t want her getting hurt even more. It went against everything inside me pulling away from her. My chest feeling tight with every action. But the images of Lisa hurt seared into my brain pushed me on, because I didn’t want similar images of her haunting me to. Not when I could do something about it now. I hated myself for getting this close to her, for inevitably hurting her when I would ultimately break things off._

_  
After Bobby died, I couldn’t make excuses any longer and I couldn’t prolong what I thought was the right thing to do. I told myself it’s now or never, I had just stopped saying I love you on the phone either hanging up before we could get to it or just saying a quick you too. I could tell she knew something was up. After all, she knew me too well. The day came and I couldn’t get air in my lungs, it felt like I had a vise around my chest. I felt empty. I was a miserable son of a bitch to be around after that. I drank straight from the bottle in the back seat of Baby, not wanting to talk to Sam and not being able to go to a bar without thinking of you. That’s when I found her sweater slightly underneath the seat. It still smelled like her._

_  
After that there was stabbing Dick and getting my ass sent to purgatory. I was nearly grateful that I broke things off with her then because at least she wouldn’t have to worry about where I was and how I was going to get out, let alone when or if. I was ecstatic this was not something she’d have to experience, and as I spent time there to get out I was glad she wouldn’t have to put up with the person that would be coming back to her._

__  
The words Sam said still rattled in my brain as I stopped strolling through memory lane as I pulled into her town.  


_“Worry about your own love life and stay out of mine!”  
_

_“Don’t go there with me Sam, I had to protect her. “  
_

_“Who do you want standing next to you at the end of the day? Who makes you smile? Who is the first person you think of when something good happens and who will you stand to be around when your walls come crumbling down? Because I know. You’ve been miserable without her and you haven’t had your head on straight since. She kept you sane man, so how about you go get her before it’s too late. And don’t give me that bullshit that you’re protecting her, she can hold her own pretty decently in a fight. Besides, she should have a say in the matter anyway.” Sam tore into me as he walked out of the motel._

  
I was parked in the street outside of her apartment, it was half past three in the morning, and I was staring at your lightless windows like a creep. I leaned my head on the steering wheel as our song softly played through the speakers, my mind once again getting lost in thoughts of her.

  
“Fancy having a good conversation with a beautiful woman?” She said as I whipped my head towards where she sat in the passenger seat. “You’re either getting rusty or I’m really good considering you didn’t notice me ‘til just now Dean.” She added trying to be humorous but I could hear the tiredness laced in her words, not just the physical tiredness with a need for sleep but a tiredness that resides in your soul with a need for peace. I looked at her, committing every single inch of her body to memory until I finally reached her eyes.

  
“It’s you.” My voice croaked in a whisper. She looked at me questionably.

  
“It’s you.” I said more clearly, continuing on with; “you’re the one I want standing next to me at the end of the day. You’re the one who makes me smile. You’re the first person I think of when something good happens, and you’re the one I want around when my walls come crumbling down. You’re the one I can’t stand to live this God forsaken life without. It’s you.”


End file.
